I Don't Think So...

Not too long ago all of the farm people got together to talk about us and all of the things that have to be done around here.  There is a lot to do when you care for animals and they all work pretty hard taking care of us, let me tell you. Sometimes I feel bad that the only thing I can do is keep them company while they work.  I wish I could do more to help.

I think they are planning something.   We have been overhearing conversations that make us pretty sure the farm people are going to have some big shindig.   It sounds like they are going to invite people to come and visit and that they are going to have a lot of fun things for kids to do.  We really like it when people come to meet us, but there is always one downside.  We all have to get cleaned up.  Now don’t get me wrong.  It’s not that I object to meeting everyone.  Hey, I’m the mascot, remember?  That’s my job.  What I object to is the getting cleaned up part.  I just don’t see the point.  I mean, I don’t even remotely see the point.  It seems to me that people coming to visit animals at a farm know we live in a barn.  They know we spend a considerable amount of time in the pasture.  They know that pastures have dirt in them.  Perhaps the visitors appreciate it when the horses are all dapper and shiny but it seems to me that visitors would expect that I’d be dusty.   

For those of you who have never met a donkey before, you might be interested in knowing that we have bristly, course coats and we are rather fond of dirt. I mean taking dust baths is one of our most pleasurable pastimes, really.  So I do not think that I need to be given a bath or brushed for this event, or have my face cleaned or have that shiny stuff put on my hooves.  I plan to opt out of getting clean,  though I will thoroughly enjoy the company that is coming and I hope that everyone comes to see me despite my stance on this.  I do not intend to cause a problem for anyone, it’s just that I don’t think I need sprucing up.

And that’s not all.  Rumor in the pasture has it that the farm people are considering putting bunny ears on the horses when the company comes! They think the kids will like it.  Someone thought it would be “cute”….  Yeah, right.  Well, that sounds downright ridiculous if you ask me.  We are not rabbits and those silly rabbit ears were made for dogs anyway and we are not dogs, in case you haven’t noticed.  They can go ahead and try putting them on the horses, but let me tell you, I already have awesome ears and I simply cannot agree to wear those pretend fuzzy white and pink satin bunny ears that humiliate all animals who are made to wear them, even dogs.  (Ever see those Cadbury commercials at Easter time?  Yeah, take a look on the expressions on those animals’ faces and you tell me how they feel about posing.  I don’t care how much they are getting paid.  They hate it, trust me).  So if anyone tries to put those girly ears on me I will give them major grief, and trust me donkeys are really good at digging in their heels and making a point.  The horses are none too thrilled with it either, let me tell you, but they generally don’t stick to their guns.  I imagine some of them will go along with it just to be good sports.  I, however, just cannot agree to this.  I may be small and adorable and I may love having company, but I have to draw the line somewhere and if satin bunny ears aren’t enough to make you find some sand and a stick, then I don’t know what is….    

So for anyone who is coming to visit, just remember that you are coming to a farm and that farms have dust and that this donkey will not agree to a bath or wearing fake ears for your amusement.  I thank you in advance for your understanding. 

Love,

Donkey