The New Boy

So we got a new boy a few weeks ago.  He’s pretty skinny and quiet, but he seems alright.  I’m pretty sure he has never seen a donkey before, or goats for that matter, but we all know he hasn’t missed anything there.  I can tell he’s a bit unsure about this new place, but he’ll get used to everyone and until then it’s my job to be his friend because that’s what a good mascot does.

Well, because of my important position I was the first one allowed in his pasture the other day to visit.  It didn’t go as well as expected.  The timing was off because when the farm people sent me in the new boy was busy making eyes at the girls who were right next door.  And those girls were very busy making eyes right back at him… They couldn’t stop looking at him and they were showing off like crazy, shamelessly prancing around and running back and forth trying to be the one that he liked the most.  Hasn’t anyone ever heard of subtlety?  They were just goo goo over him.  It was kind of an uncomfortable situation to walk into, with all the flirting and showing off and all, but I had a job to do.      

 




The Approach

 

 

Now I like the girls well enough, don’t get me wrong, but I like hay much more.  And there were beautiful flakes of hay right by the fence line which is where all of this nonsense was taking place.  I wandered over to the hay but the new boy thought I was challenging him and wanted to take his place with the girls, so he was instantly annoyed with me, spun around, and ran me off.  Because donkeys tolerate misunderstandings quite well and are known for their persistence, I didn’t hesitate to wander back over to the hay.  I wanted him to know that I didn’t care a bit about the girls and that I was just hungry.  Well, he spun around and ran me off again… and again... and again.  He really was not getting it… not at all.




I see the pinned ears, buddy.  I get it. 

 



He's spinning and I'm getting out of the way.  Hey, he's bigger than me!



Now I have a lot of patience for a little donkey but I admit I got fed up (with irritated feelings, not with hay) so I let him have it.  Yep, I blasted him with my braying and I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not appreciate him charging me like that and that he best knock it off.   I wish you could have been there because I sounded awesome, let me tell you!  It was some of my best vocal work, really…  I rocked the pasture and I’m quite sure they heard me into the next county, which is pretty far away.  I told that new boy loud and clear that he needed to stop being so bossy and let me get to the hay, that he was new kid on the block and he was not in charge and he should at least respect my higher rank in the farm equine pecking order.  Well, despite my best work I am embarrassed to say he didn’t actually listen to me and because he would not stop running me off and because he is much bigger than me, I had no choice but to wander back in the pasture and sulk – without any hay at all.  You know once in awhile I wish some of the other horses would take over this Wal-Mart greeter job.  It can be pretty tough... And I can assure you I don't get paid enough for this degree of hassle...



Communication 101 in the donkey world





Giving it another try...



And another... (oh brother, look at those two)



Sadly, things didn't go quite as planned.



Well since then I am pleased to report that the new boy and I have become friends. He eventually realized his mistake and he now understands that I care much more about hay than romance.  He has stopped running me off and I have decided he is alright.  I have shown him around the place and told him all about the important stuff, like the dry erase board, the feeding schedule, and which farm people might give you some extra carrots or treats if you look especially sweet (that would be all of them, actually).  I think he’s gonna be just fine when he settles in. 

The things I do around here…

Love,

Donkey